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<DIV>Hope you enjoy these.</DIV>
<DIV>Dee Charest</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message -----
<DIV style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; font-color: black"><B>From:</B> <A
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<DIV><B>Sent:</B> Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:52 AM</DIV>
<DIV><B>Subject:</B> Some dumb fun here </DIV></DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV><FONT id=role_document face=Arial color=#000000 size=2>
<DIV>
<DIV> </DIV><FONT size=3>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE<BR>Two
engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you
get such a great bike?"<BR>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." <BR>The second engineer nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit."<BR><BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO<BR>To the optimist, the
glass is half full. <BR>To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
<BR>To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.<BR><BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE<BR>A pastor, a doctor and an
engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of
golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never seen such ineptitude!"<BR>The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens
keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost
their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime."<BR>The group was silent for a moment, then the pastor
said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight."<BR>The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."<BR>The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"<BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING
ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR<BR>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and
Civil Engineers?<BR>Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build
targets.<BR><BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE<BR>The graduate with a
Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"<BR>The graduate with an Engineering
degree asks, "How does it work?"<BR>The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"<BR>The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"<BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX<BR>Three engineering
students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human
body.<BR>One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the
joints."<BR>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections.<BR>The last one said, "Actually it
must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?"<BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE
SEVEN<BR>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it.<BR>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet.<BR><BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT<BR>An architect, an artist
and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the
wife or a mistress.<BR>The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.<BR>The artist said he
enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found
there.<BR>The engineer said, "I like both." <BR>"Both?"<BR>Engineer: "Yeah. If
you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with
the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work
done."<BR><BR><BR>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE<BR>An engineer was
crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me,
I'll turn into a beautiful princess."<BR>He bent over, picked up the frog and
put it in his pocket.<BR>The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
week."<BR>The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket.<BR>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn
me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."<BR>Again
the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.<BR>Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"<BR>The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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