[FC] The latest adventure of Red Brier

[Bryan Blackwell]

Announcer: Continuing the story of our heroine van Red Brier, we pick 
up the latest adventure in the Blackwell's carport the morning of 
Friday, 29 August, where Bryan and Ellie are discussing the current 
plan [director's note: although the audience will realize that comedy 
will ensue, the actors should play the parts straight].

Bryan: So, all we've got to do is put the engine crank seal in, find 
and assemble the missing engine mount parts which are in a box 
somewhere in the basement, put in the missing rear shroud seal, pack 
the van with camping gear, load up the kids, then drive to Pennsylvania 
from Virginia the Friday before Labor Day before it gets dark so we can 
set up these tents we've never seen before.
Ellie: Right.  Did you get directions?
Bryan: They're on the web site.  I think you go north of Harrisburg and 
turn left.
Ellie: I see.  [to herself] I'm bringing a map.
[Fast forward through installation of a crank seal, rummaging through 
boxes, a couple of trial assemblies, cursing the ancestry of the 
previous owners, children being advised regarding how tools left in the 
sun (now high in the sky) get hot, replacing hubcaps, more trial 
fitting, searching of missing fasteners, and finally lowering Red from 
the jackstands].
Bryan: Look, it runs!
Red [to herself]: Of course.  I'm the lead character.
Ellie: Great!  I packed our bags. [Camera cuts to duffel bag, 
foreshadowing later scene].
[Scene opens at 5 p.m. at gas station in Virginia.  Rain is falling in 
monsoon like sheets when not being blown horizontally.]
Bryan: Well, maybe it won't be raining in Pennsylvania.
Ellie: Suuure.
Bryan: We'll just drive right through it!
Red [to herself]: Maybe he should come out *here* and try driving 
through it.
[Cut to scene at convenience store in small Pennsylvania town.  It is 
clearly late at night and still raining].
Ellie: So perhaps now is not the best time to figure out how to pitch 
these tents?
Bryan: Maybe not.
[They enter the store.]
Clerk: Can I help you?
Bryan: Um, are there any hotels in town?
Clerk [clearly surprised]: Oh, no, there sure aren't.
Bryan: Er, well, how about the next town?
Clerk: Well, if you go that way [points] for, uh, a few miles, then, 
um, follow 61, then turn, uh, toward Paxinos it'll be right there on 
the road.
Ellie: Ok, thanks.
[Bryan and Ellie walk outside]
Bryan: I think we'll just use the Force to find it.
Ellie: You doubt your trophy winning navigator?
Bryan: Of course not, I know the Force is strong in you.
[Scene changes to Red parked outside the Glosser Inn the following 
morning]
Ellie: So what's the name of the campground we're meeting at?
Bryan: Um, I don't know.  [Brightly] But I have directions!
Ellie: Yes, but it might be easier to find if we knew the name of the 
place where we were going.
Bryan: You could use the Force some more.
Ellie: I think I will.
[Fast forward through the Pennsylvania countryside]
Ellie: Turn in here.
Bryan: Look! A bunch of VW camper vans!
Kids: Are we there yet?
Bryan: No, this is the part where you get to watch dad...
Kids [in unison]: ...stand around and talk about cars.  Can we go to 
the playground?
Bryan [to Ben Stiles]: Yeah, these hub caps came on '70s Novas - say, 
which year VW Bus is that?
Kids: Bye dad.
[Some time passes]
Ben: Time to caravan to Knoebel's Amusement Park!
Kids: Yay!
Bryan: I guess I'm done talking about cars for now.
Kids: Yay!

To be continued...

Bryan Blackwell bryan@skiblack.com
http://autoxer.skiblack.com/
   Corvairs: '61 Lakewood, '64 Greenbrier, '65 Corsa, '66 Corsa
   '69 Road Runner, '97 Ford F-150, '99 Neon R/T
"Why do something if you're not going to obsess about it?"