<VV> Fwd: If my body were a Car...Corvair owner?

[Louis C. Armer, Jr.]

>
>If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it
> >in for a newer model.
> >
> >I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
> >getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
> >
> >My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as sleek as
> >little MG; now they look more like an old Buick. My seat cushions have split
> >open at the seams.   My seats are sagging.
> >
> >Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my
> >neighborhood.!Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under
> >my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
> >
> >I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places and
> >seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored life
> >experiences against depreciation? My headlights are out of focus and it's
> >especially hard to see things up close.   My traction is not as graceful as
> >it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best
> >of weather.
> >
> >My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my
> >maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it
> >almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter..... either my radiator leaks
> >or my exhaust backfires!