<VV> Teens and 1st cars

[John Kepler]

My take is kids, especially boys will be extremely destructive to
mechanicals of any car,  girls  although maybe less knowledgeable about
vehicles are far less destructive to a vehicle.   Girls  don't generally do
the ridiculously stupid things boys do to help destroy cars.

I have a couple of neighbors whose experiences with "Girls in cars gone
wild!" that could/should disabuse you of your frankly quaint, dated, and
somewhat sexist notion!

I must be weird.  I'm the father of 4 sons, and NONE of my boys have been
"destructive to the mechanicals" of ANYTHING!  Quite the opposite in fact,
which probably shouldn't be terribly surprising since when I was their age,
I wasn't "destructive to the mechanicals of any car" either, and for the
same reasons; I was the son of an engineer and a "car guy"!  Your attitude
surprises me since if you're participating on this, then you too are a "car
guy", so these very simple "parenting techniques" are available and should
be obvious.  My sons have been willing or less-than-so participants in "shop
operations" since they were just beyond toddlers.  They've been "gofers" and
"tire carriers" before they went to Kindergarten, and knew the layout of the
shop and the tools better than they know the pig-holes they called rooms (my
shop is always a mess...but it's generally cleaner/neater than their
rooms....they're still boys!).  The most "mechanically challenged" of them
(the oldest), are still more than capable of all routine automotive
maintenance, with the rest capable on a professional-level.  

Their relationship to their vehicles, just as mine was, is based on a VERY
simple postulate that is readily understood by even the most truculent teen:
You break it, you fix it, or you either become a pedestrian or use one of
our cars with associated questions, limitations and invasive scrutiny!
Since the boys themselves are all responsible "car guys", and individuals
that value their independence...their treatment of their various cars have
reflected that.  They have all been purchasers of various levels of
"basket-case" cars that they have made run, investing much "blood, sweat,
and tears" as well as hard-earned money just to keep Mom and Dad's nose out
of their business.  Number 1 Son "inherited" his Grandmothers clapped out 77
Bonneville, and with "negotiated/coerced/purchased" help from the more
mechanically adept #2 Son and "help" from Grandpa and Dad, made it run.  #2
Son eventually "inherited" the Bonny from his older brother when he traded a
bunch of computer work to a guy for a decent-shape '92 Caddy, and it was his
primary set of wheels until he left for duty in Iraq.  Number 1 and Number 2
bought an 86 BMW 325i for $400 that came home towed behind the Bonny one
day....they had delusions of grandeur about using the Bimmer for a major
road-trip before #2's first deployment to Afghanistan.  The car was more
than #1 could handle and #2 rapidly lost interest when it was painfully
apparent that he was not only going to have to do the bulk of the work to
get that Hun slug running AND provide the bulk of the funding for this
proposed pre-deployment road-trip!  The car sat in the "storage hole" next
to the shop for several months with Dad doing progressively more strident
bitching about the clutter!  About that time #3 Son had just gotten his
learners permit, and eyed that DOA Bimmer like a wolf contemplates a sheep!
As soon as he could swing it, he "bought" the Bimmer off his brothers for
the "accumulated" storage fees!  He worked his fundament off getting that
POS to run, then to make it look good....drove all through high school, and
still drives it today as Junior chemical engineering student.  Number 4 got
his learners permit last month, and immediately "negotiated" a 1977 Triumph
TR-7 "road-kill" in exchange for some scut-work around the farm from a
friend of #3's that came home on a rope behind #3's Bimmer....they got it
running Friday!  The "Circle of Life" continues!

"That which we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; 'tis dearness only
that gives everything its value."  T. Paine

My sons and I have had a ball working on all of these various basket-cases.
In a world of computer games and "detached semi-parenting"....these
"projects" are multi-level opportunities to bond and instruct.  I suppose we
COULD have just "provided" a cheap set of wheels for our boys and let it go
at that...but I think our way has worked better from several different
directions.


    A good  low horsepower , economical  safe car  that is reliable  will do
the job.  A  car that a daughter drives  must be the most reliable  so this
is a case where it has to be better than what could be suitable for a son,

So.....a son dead-on-the-highway in the middle of the night in a dead POS,
is somehow at lower risk than a daughter?  The nature of the threats may be
different, but in our Brave New World crawling with predatory nut-cases, the
hazards are roughly the same.

  who should at least have a basic knowledge of how the mechanical systems
of a vehicle operate. 

You'd probably be amazed at how many of my sons' girl friends have ended up
working out in our shop!  One of #3's even bought/made a set of pink
coveralls just for "stylishly" working in the shop....cute as a bug too
(don't go there...I've know her and her folks since she was a baby)....for
my money, pink coveralls with oil-stains in a car shop beats the hell out of
a tarted-up just barely high-school aged girl wearing a halter and pair of
shorts with "Juicy" stenciled across the butt strutting around at the Mall,
but I'm just an old puritanical Neanderthal apparently!  There is absolutely
NO reason a daughter shouldn't know as much as a son about mechanical
systems save that fathers are less likely to teach them!  The interest is
there if you present it properly, and frankly, girls learn faster than boys
(who seem to often think that mechanical aptitude is an automatic product of
testosterone and a "Y" chromosome, rather than a skill that has to be
learned, and don't feel that "listening" is a part of the gig!), and need
the skills just as much or more than your sons.

Just a contrary opinion!

John