<VV> British Al Qaeda on Strike HUMOR

kenpepke at juno.com kenpepke at juno.com
Tue Apr 13 06:45:46 EDT 2010

British Al Qaeda on Strike

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
by 25% this February from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a
kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he
currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
"We sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in
a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of
virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing
expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd
hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland,
Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would
not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas

Another reason for the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now
that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen
on going to Paradise.

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