[NoVa-Corvairs] hullo again.

[Daniel Goldberg]

Heya.

Now that I have net access again, I thought I would drop back into the fold.

Last Friday I arrived here at the Army JAG school, located at the University of Virginia law school campus.  It's beautiful -- you'd hardly know that you're living on Army property.

Before that, I spent two weeks inprossessing at Ft. Lee, in Petersburg, VA.  Ft. Lee, home of the Quartermaster's corps, is a way station on the road to hell, and no different than most other Army bases in that it's surrounded by strip clubs, tattoo parlors and storefronts offering payday loans.  For two weeks straight the entire JAG class (about 80 boys and girls) bought uniforms (I'm 
hemorraging money right now), listened to presentations given by field grade ossifers, crawled around in brambles, took a fitness test (my scores qualified me to compete for a slot at either Airborne or Air Assault school), got immunized from ebola, received ID cards, performed kareoke (I sang "Rhinestone Jewboy"), started up a Hum-Vee, snarfed copious amounts of fried food at the 
ossifer's club, got gassed with CS (sans mask), read antisemetc graffito, and generally got yelled at by sergeants who know a lot more about soldiering than I ever will.

I also shot a gun for the first time in my life.  Well, let me amend that: I wielded a muzzle-loading musket back when I was a college student portraying a Revolutionary War soldier at Colonial Williamsburg.  Since the Army decomissioned its smooth-bore weaponry some time ago, last Wednesday I had to make due with a 9mm Baretta.  Let's just say that I'm no natural with the guns 
-- it took me four tries to qualify (qualifying requires hitting 16 or more pop-up targets out of 30; on my fourth try I hit 19).  It's funny how most men achieve orgasm each time they pull the trigger; for me it was real work.  Let's not even talk about rappelling.

Overall, I confirmed what had always been obvious to me: that I'm not very good at being a boy.  Luckily, however, the other kids like me and I kinda like them too.  They're generally not the sort of people I would hang out with because I'm a total elitist, but they think that I'm a smart guy with a flair for language and a funky car.  It's funny: the most obnoxious and gung-ho of my classmates are the direct commission officers -- those JAG incumbents who, like me, never served in the military or who had only ROTC training.  Those incumbents who attended law school while on active duty tend not to be the chest thumpers I thought they'd be because they're acclimated to military life and it's no big deal for them.  I think the others had always wanted to be soldiers and, now that they have their big chance, are embracing fully the soldier stereotype.

Car stuff ... Since the Corvair is in storage, I've been using my '71 BMW Bavaria.  Last week the rivet holding together the LF window mechanism sheared apart.  A spare bolt and an hour's worth of work got the window to work once again.  On Saturday I treated the thing to a tune-up and discovered that the ceramic portion of the #6 plug had broken off and the tang was bent. Like Corvairs, it's amazing how well old BMWs run on 5 cylinders, but that was a bit frightening to behold.  I think, too, the broken plug is one reason why the Bav reeks of fuel.  Then earlier today the electric fuel pump I installed in July failed.  Fortunately, the other boys and girls like me so I got a lift to an auto supply store.  The Bav is once again running well.

What else ... you know, I think only AJ knows that Ft. Leavenworth is no longer my final destination.  Five days before I was scheduled to report for duty, I was advised that my orders changed.  I am now going to Ft. Sill, which is an enormous TRADOC (training and doctrine) base located in the booming metropolis of Lawton, Oklahoma.  

Clearly, my life is over.

Well .. sort of.  I'm going to have to be proactive and look past my immediate horizons if I want to meet people with whom I can relate.  Norman, OK, where Oklahoma University is located, is 45 minutes away, so that means a dating pool consisting of grad students and professors.  Oklahoma City is about 1:15 from Lawton, and there's a fellow Bavaria owner there who's a real hoot.  If things don't work out, I can always volunteer to go downrange to Baghdad or Kabul.

If you're going to be in Charlottesville before 1/31/07, please let's get together.  Otherwise, I hope to be in DC around Thanksgiving.

daniel.