<VV> Autocross Classification

[Smitty]

Smitty says:  This thread has had me smiling to myself and almost laughing 
out loud at times.  Except as pertains to Ron of course.  He has been poorly 
used and I hope he can forgive the collective "US" and come back for more 
autocrossing.  Cheating?  Cheating is what those atheletes do.  It has 
nothing to do with me or my cars.  It works like this.  My 64 wagon was 
initially made in 62 and because it was such an early 64 it had no sway bar 
or transverse spring.  Right away I took care of that.  Then I go to an 
autocross.  I register as a pure stock low performance Early.  After all 
there are a half dozen "same equipped" cars in the pits.  Then the protests 
start.  Who is trying to cheat who.  And who gives a damn.  I'm just there 
to have fun.  So they are accusing me of cheating just because I built my 
car like a bunch of others there.  They darn sure aren't going to hear "from 
me" about anything else I do to make it run faster and have more fun.  They 
want to know about the Porch 917 engine, they are going to have to raise the 
lid and look for it.  See, I am learning.
Then I build Spike.  We gonna go out and run the road race tracks with the 
big dogs.  I have spent 40 years in Corvairs wondering what would happen if 
I---------.   If you have seen the car you can tell I want it to be noticed 
as a racer.  Got those goofey sponsor decals all over it etc.  Got to look 
like a racer inside too.  I cut away the dash from the instrument hood all 
the way to the right side of the car.  Not supposed to lighten the car if 
you want to stay in the street class.  I didn't do it for lightness I did it 
for cool.  If that really bothers you that much I could bolt a flywheel to 
the passenger floor.  Or I could say. the heck with you.  Protest it if you 
don't like it.  I'm here to have fun.  I have a friend that co-drives with 
me.  He is the only one on the track I want to beat.  I assume the rest of 
you are just out there having fun like me.  The car has to have upholstery. 
I didn't care for the rags covering the inside of the doors so I took them 
off and and covered the doors with some cheap plastic sheeting.  For 
lightness? No.  Just didn't want the car to look tacky inside.  Because 
Spike is my daily driver and is a fully state inspected and licensed car, he 
is carrying a lot of weight.  No room for cheating there.  The State doesn't 
compomise.  I went to the carpet store and got in the dumpster and got some 
reject carpet for the floor.  Cut it out to fit and use it on the street. 
When I went to an autocross,  Naturlly the inspector didn't want the "loose" 
carpets there so I took them out.  During the autocross a busybody went to 
the course Marshall and told him I was running without carpets and 
upholstery and out of my class.  This guy wasn't even in my class or body 
style.  I told the Marshall I was his to order around.  No problem.  And 
continued to run.  Next the same guy is protesting my tires.  He ticked me 
off.  Not the protest.  Him.  So I changed classes and ran.  If I had won a 
class that day and taken the thousand bucks cash and the three foot tall 
trophey home I would have been cheating, (maybe).  You are going to have to 
protest me if you think so.
I'll tell you right now that I think that a three gallon filler neck on a 
tank in a limited fuel race is innovative thinking.  I think dipping a car 
in acid to lighten it is innovative thinking.  And I think that picking up 
12 psi of air off of a bellhousing to be used as a supercharger is 
innovative thinking.   So if you are in a class with Spike or the wagon come 
around with your clipboard and make a list.  I do nothing to cheat.  I do 
things to see if they work.  I do things because I think they are cool.  I 
do things because they are the cheapest way.  With my driving skill at my 
age your highly prized trophey is in no danger anyway.  So give it your best 
shot and I'll laugh all the way around the track on my next lap.